Judy Bagwell Awards

Lou Thesz. Johnny Valentine. Pedro Morales.

Judy Bagwell.

The wrestling world, and its fans, tend to place a lot of focus on its greats; perhaps more so than any other sport. Great legends, great matches — and the perfect stories. And perhaps the biggest reasoning behind this is because for every great idea or person, there are 100 of the worst, most befuddling, and most inexplicably inane ideas ever put to paper and translated on air.

Professional wrestling was born and developed in the circus. Therefore, it's only natural that for most of its existence, it has put on acts that would make a circus look like just another day on Grandma's patio. These people and moments have every right to be honored as much as any Ric Flair or Hulk Hogan; they are truly what made the sport so unique in the first place.

Tune in each month as the Friends go head to head to present, to an impartial judge, worthy choices for coming home with the esteemed Judy Bagwell Award.



List of Episodes

Episode 02: King Mabel vs. Henry Family Incest
Episode 06: Beaver Cleavage vs. The Cattle Prod
Episode 10: Zbyszko's War vs. Mike Shaw's Identity
Episode 14: Santina vs. Gonzalez's Chloroform vs. The Deadliest Catch
Episode 18: Beach Blast Bungle vs. Hell in a Cell Hanging vs. "The King" Cashes In
Episode 21: Cena's Greatest Fear vs. Vince Russo, World Champion vs. Who's the Boss?
Episode 28: Kiss Who's Ass? vs. Gookin' Around vs. Lunchtime Suicides
Episode 32: Dr. Heiny vs. Robocop vs. Santino's Bad Date
Episode 38: HLA vs. Chamber of Horrors vs. Be a Bully
Episode 42: The Ultimate Mirror vs. Papa's Curse vs. The Boogeyman
Episode 47: The Kiebler Cutter vs. Hawk-oholism vs. Rappin' on Ritter


Episode 02


ERIK'S PICK: KING MABEL
The WWF didn't have much going for them in 1995. And then it got worse. Mabel was a big man in a fan-favorite tag team, Men on a Mission, with his partner Mo and their *ahem* emcee, Oscar. He was fine there. Diesel, who was running roughshod over the depleted roster, still had bad guys like Sid and Bam Bam Bigelow. Instead, the powers that be turned this positive influence for the streets of Harlem into a monstrous thug. It wasn't bad enough that he'd pull the unfair big brother move of sitting on you to beat you, but someone, somewhere, thought he was also deserving of the esteemed King of the Ring crown as well, a title reserved for men en route to stardom or to honor their workmanship and dedication to their art. Mabel's reign of terror made a bad thing worse in the forgettable year of 1995.


ANDY'S PICK: MARK HENRY, SEX ADDICT
Like a lot of his peers in the Attitude Era, Mark Henry didn't really have anywhere to go. His Nation had abandoned him, and his pal D'Lo was only concerned with trying to thin him down. But those weren't even his biggest problems. Mark Henry, Olympic athlete and legitimate strongman, had an addiction. A sex addiction. Already steamy enough subject matter for most fans, it wouldn't stop there. At a therapy session, laying next to a very seductive counselor and filmed for the entire viewing audience to see, Henry admitted to the world that not only was his first sexual encounter at the age of 8, but that it was with...his sister. *insert sad trumpet* To this day, those who look back on this angle are bewildered at its purpose, and the fact that it was basically dropped immediately didn't do anything to wash the taste out of viewers' mouths.

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Episode 06


ANDY'S PICK: BEAVER CLEAVAGE
Wrestlers portraying characters is as long in the tooth as the sport itself. However, when you take a grown man who's also a trained athlete, put him in little boy clothes and show him on video getting an 'old-fashioned' from his quote-unquote "mother", you know your creative department has problems. Beaver Cleavage, a poorly-crafted take on the country's favorite mama's-boy, was portrayed by Chaz Warrington, an established talent. Yet, when his successful tag team, the Headbangers, split up, he was cast in this terrible role that would cause anyone to be black-balled from their family if they were seen watching this at Christmas. Chaz himself even knew it was doomed, wrestling just one match before going off-script about how horrible it was. It didn't damage the course of wrestling, but it certainly cut many a person off from future holiday family gatherings.


BLAKE'S PICK: GOLDBERG MEETS CATTLE PROD
Few moments in wrestling history can be pin-pointed as being the turning point when everything went wrong. For WCW at the end of the millennium, they had about twenty. But perhaps one of the biggest was the moment Goldberg clashed with Kevin Nash at Starrcade '98. Goldberg was the hottest commodity not just in WCW, but perhaps in wrestling, mowing down a list of competitors from Glacier to Hollywood Hulk Hogan, and holding the company's World Championship through the Fall. When Nash won his spot in the title picture at Starrcade, it looked to be an epic confrontation of face vs. face not much unlike Hogan/Warrior at Wrestlemania VI. However, unlike that match, this was not a passing of the torch. It was an unsustainable streak versus an arrogant ego-maniac and a questionable ending involving a cattle prod. Things unraveled quickly after this moment, and any claim that WCW could keep up with the red-hot WWF was squashed.

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Episode 10


BLAKE'S PICK: LARRY ZBYSZKO VS. THE NWO
By the early Spring of 1998, the WCW had been mired in a war against the invading nWo for over a year and a half. Heroes had come and gone, with most actually being gone by either joining the dark side or leaving the company. In walked an unlikely hero, from the announce booth of all places, to aid his company on the ropes against the might of all the nWo had to offer. Larry Zbyszko. For many years, Larry was truly the Living Legend he claimed to be. Money-making feuds with Bruno Sammartino. Long reigns as the AWA champion. But by 1998, he was only needed in one place: behind the desk, with a headset on. Not in the ring, and especially not against Scott Hall, one of the nWo's top men, getting Hall dirty in the process just by his association with Zbyszko. For many fans, Larry was a hero, but for those who knew the darker side of the Legend, there was no amount of soap to wash the vision of old Zbyszko in his trunks laying out in the middle of the ring during WCW's hottest period.


ERIK'S PICK: MIKE SHAW CAN'T CATCH A GIMMICK
Lunatic. Heretic. Just plain sick. A few words to describe the illustrious career of Mike Shaw, a man who, throughout his time in the wrestling world, played perhaps some of the worst gimmicks from Dusty Rhodes and Vince McMahon. And these guys headed creative teams that came up with the Shockmaster and Max Moon! Wrestling is full of "big fatties" like King Kong Bundy and Earthquake, names that main-evented major Pay-Per-Views with Hulk Hogan. Mike Shaw didn't have much of the same abilities as those guys, however; so he needed something more, something intangible. And what he got was Norman the Lunatic, a man who was released from an asylum every so often to wrestle an athletic match; Friar Ferguson, a monk who delighted in showing his opponents what he was hiding under his frock; and Bastion Booger, the most despicable abomination ever to cross through the ring ropes. If there was a terrible gimmick waiting to leap off the page, Shaw was the canvas, and unfortunately also the scapegoat for professional wrestling detractors everywhere. Not even the mass of Shaw himself was bulky enough for proud wrestling fans to hide behind.

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Episode 14


ANDY'S PICK: SANTINA WINS THE DIVA'S ROYAL RUMBLE (Wrestlemania XXV)
Divas generally get the shaft when it comes to Wrestlemania. Think about the last time you saw a singles match between two women wrestlers at the grandaddy of them all. That's right. At Wrestlemania XXV, the WWE at least tried to give them something of a spotlight with a battle royale—unfortunately, once again they were made an afterthought in the show at the expense of a Santino in drag...that's right...I'm calling him out! Even if, in some alternate dimension, that really was Santino's sister, Santina, how did she get a contract that quickly? How come nobody knew "her" name, despite apparently being employed and cleared to compete in a Wrestlemania contest? Talk about an all-new low for the Divas at Wrestlemania.


ERIK'S PICK: GIANT GONZALEZ 'THREATENS' THE STREAK (Wrestlemania IX)
As big as Wrestlemania is, only a few moments have transcended the professional wrestling realm into pop culture and mainstream media. One of those things is the Undertaker's unparalleled streak of victories at the WWE's biggest show of the year. But if we were to view a slideshow of his 20+ victories, we may be reminded of one that, all things considered, may not only taint the perfect streak but nullify it altogether. The Undertaker certainly paid his dues early in his career taking on horribly immobile men, none being more sluggish than Giant Gonzalez at Wrestlemania IX. Not only did this match-up spell doom for any hope of a competitive wrestling contest, but when Gonzalez knocked 'Taker unconscious with a chloroform rag and stood over his body the wrestling audience was left with a very sour taste in their own mouths. This image did not equate with the Undertaker vanquishing yet another foe in his impressive streak—instead, it made him look weak and beatable at the feet of a man in a...man suit?



BLAKE'S PICK: WRESTLEMANIA'S "DEADLIEST CATCH" (Wrestlemania XXVIII)
What's the last thing you want to see in your annual Wrestlemania celebration? If you said Santino, you'd only have one part of Wrestlemania's worst moment. At Wrestlemania XXVIII, Santino, Mick Foley and Ron Simmons were all involved in a commercial...you heard right, a commercial...at a Pay-Per-View event. One would be hard-pressed not to feel slightly cheated at shelling out $70 only to see Santino and Foley cracking their own shells of an Alaskan king crab in this blatant shill for the reality show The Deadliest Catch. Perhaps the biggest travesty of the whole event was seeing Foley, a Hardcore legend and superstar with many of his own great Wrestlemania moments, descending to this new low. The first Showcase of the Immortals is famous for being an exercise in risk with an untested business model; this was everything that is the very opposite of that.

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Episode 18


ANDY'S PICK: 1993 BEACH BLAST MINI-MOVIES
A tug-of-war contest in the White Castle of Doom. Two muscle-bound hunks playing volleyball on a beach with children. A midget wearing a shark fin and blowing up a boat. No, these aren't sketches on late night television; they're scenes straight out of WCW's mini-movies of the early '90s. That's not a typo—the WCW, a professional wrestling company, actually produced movies to hype up their athletic contests between two men. Specifically showcasing the feud between Sting, a man perpetually in face paint, and Big Van Vader, a large mammoth who wears a leather mask to the beach, it was the WCW's attempt at remaining relevant. Instead, they came off immediately dated, ridiculous, and from a movie-making standpoint, lacked any redeemable qualities like continuity, cleverness or simply decent acting.


ERIK'S PICK: BOSS MAN HANGS FROM A CELL
Once again, the Undertaker's fabled streak comes into question. Sure, he's had many classic contests in the midst of building up his string of Wrestlemania victories, but there are also quite a few duds along the way—especially early on, when Undertaker should have been at his performance peak. There are many arguable picks for the biggest dud of them all, but certainly his contest with Big Bossman at Wrestlemania XV has to come into question. Bossman, himself a prison guard, looked lost and without a clue inside the cage, while the Undertaker—who should have been at home inside the steel walls of Hell's Cell—was hardly mobile himself. That's why, when he resorted to hanging his opponent after beating him in an athletic contest apparently wasn't enough, this blotch on an already dour Wrestlemania card tipped the scales into the entire show being one of the worst ever. Sure, the image of Bossman hanging from a noose in the ring was to represent a powerful image—but him showing up on Raw the following night only proved how much WWE wanted to quickly put this terrible moment in their past.



BLAKE'S PICK: PROFITING ON A "KING"S HEART ATTACK
Professional wrestling, as an entertainment source, has unfortunately had more than its share of tragedies—both in, and out of, the ring. One of those moments nearly happened on live television, when Hall-of-Famer and beloved announcer Jerry "The King" Lawler suffered a heart attack in the middle of Monday Night Raw. Miraculously, Jerry pulled through, proving that the King of Memphis was still willing to fight. The WWE was there quickly to put him in the ring and address the fans in what appeared to be a very classy and heartfelt move. Of course, being the WWE, they couldn't not turn this into an angle, soon inserting the King's near-death experience into a storyline featuring the reigning champion CM Punk and Paul Heyman. Though it was nothing truly out of the ordinary, it reeked of cheesiness; however, this was hardly the biggest blight during Lawler's recovery tour. Soon, the WWE, being the almighty profit machine that it is, began pumping out t-shirts and other accessories highlighting the King's health problems. Somehow, some way, they were able to out-stink an already disgusting on-air story.

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Episode 21


ANDY'S PICK: CENA'S GREATEST FEAR
John Cena had become about as stale as an old box of Fruity Pebbles by the time 2014 came around. That's why being inserted into a feud with rising star Bray Wyatt was considered a great move, bringing out a side in Cena that re-heated opponents like Randy Orton and CM Punk couldn't. Though his first match with Wyatt at Wrestlemania XXX was well-executed, the feud didn't seem finished. Putting them in a cage by Extreme Rules was the next logical step, keeping the Wyatt Family out while forcing the two to combat in what felt like more than a wrestling contest. Instead, the match was all kinds of wrong in terms of story-telling; the Wyatt Family continuously interfered, though ineffectually, while Wyatt and Cena stayed far away from each other. By its end, fans were clamoring for it to be over with—but they never envisioned the conclusion they'd get when Cena, steps away from victory, came face to face with a child singing into a distorted microphone. Despite his fears, Cena could have escaped and won, but instead he back-tracked into the cage and sure defeat at the hands of Wyatt.


ERIK'S PICK: VINCE RUSSO, WORLD CHAMPION
With 20/20 hindsight, it's obvious that the WCW was in its death throes by October, 2000. However, at the time, there was still a shred of hope that the company could be salvaged. Vince Russo was a quote-unquote smart writer, having been credited as the chief architect of the Attitude Era. It was thought he was the medicine needed to restore WCW's health when he arrived at the beginning of the year. Instead, belly-flop after belly-flop ensued, with pole matches becoming the norm (such as the one that became the namesake of these awards) and celebrities like David Arquette holding the WCW Championship for a short time. Though some thought this was a travesty, the biggest one came of all when Russo booked himself as the champion in order to simply "get people talking", as he'd later state. In short, Russo traded short-term buzz for a long, drawn out death by once again devaluing his company's title. His win was incredibly tainted by confusion, with the former champion Booker T high-fiving Goldberg once Da Man had speared Russo through the cage, solidifying his victory. At least Arquette had a pin to his title win.



BLAKE'S PICK: WHO'S THE BOSS?
With weekly episodic television being its money-maker since the early 90s, the WWE has a lot of content to fill. Yet somehow, aside from strange nights or off-weeks, they've always managed to reboot the story and start strong again. Not so in 2011 WWE, which started with Vince McMahon in charge and ended with...Vince McMahon in charge. Perhaps this sounds like an uneventful year, but in fact it wasn't. Instead, we saw the Power Structure in the WWE turn into a snake eating itself, with Triple H firing his father and Director of Talent Relations John Laurinaitis replacing him. Before long, Vince had returned to remove Johnny Ace from power, effectively returning himself to the throne. Not many companies can boast this kind of strange upward movement, featuring a previously fired man coming back to fire someone else, but the WWE and its eternal quest to brainwash and wipe its fans memories continues to do its best at being the worst at it.

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Episode 28


ANDY'S PICK: KISS WHO'S ASS?
WWF in the year 1999 was in a state of flux. Just coming out of the red-hot 1998 where they re-took the lead in the ratings war, they suddenly found themselves in the midst of a changing climate. A new star was needed for the future. In a startling move, causing some to think if Vince just pulled a name out of a hat, that future star was former Smoking Gunn and current New Age Outlaw himself, Billy Gunn. Having won King of the Ring, Gunn adopted his new persona: "Mr. Ass", playing the part of a cocky, self-interested heel. This, of course, would not be taken lightly by a man who once played that part: The Rock. The two engaged in a feud in the summer of 1999, showing just how far the WWF had fallen. To spice things up creatively, they added a new stipulation—a "Kiss My Ass" match. As the Attitude Era always did, it amped things up by calling for the loser to kiss the winner's hind end after their Summerslam encounter. When a hefty woman in torn pantyhose arrived on the scene, things simply went from bad to humiliating—and not for the loser of this particular match.


ERIK'S PICK: GOOKIN' AROUND
The scene was Survivor Series, 1990. In what should be known as perhaps the greatest debut in the history of the company with The Undertaker arriving on the scene, is instead avoided at all costs due to a more...inauspicious debut. With WWE Hall-of-Famer and Heenan's Hall inductee, "Mean" Gene Okerlund, present, and the whole world watching, a new character arrived on the scene after months of speculation; hatching from an egg, of all things. What Vince McMahon did by forcing Roddy Piper, Gorilla Monsoon and Okerlund to put over the arrival of a large, dancing chicken was damaging enough, but the fact that the large beast took up over 10 minutes of paid-for TV time by dancing in the ring to "Turkey in the Straw" is the most sad and disturbing of all. The "Gobbledy Gooker" has since returned to poke fun at a simpler time in the company, but the fact that it is used as a parody, and that WrestleCrap itself gives terrible wrestling moments the "Gooker" Award should tell you everything you need to know about this depressing moment in wrestling history.



BLAKE'S PICK: LUNCHTIME SUICIDES
History is filled with sad stories of men and women who, through no fault of their own, lost their means of income due to injury while on the job, or otherwise. Most of these people have found other means, and used that inner strength and courage that drove them in their earlier lives to make ends meet. Then there are those who don't see the light at the end of the tunnel, and tragically decide to take themselves out of their situation. And finally, there's referee Tim White, who couldn't do either. Whether it was through shotgun blast, rat poison, industrial fan or even hiring someone else to take him out, Tim White couldn't ease the emotional pain of losing his job after physical pain drove him out. While a person's futility can always be played off for laughs, the fact that the WWE stretched these attempts over 15 short episodes and included Josh Matthews' inability to simply pull a plastic bag off White's head drove it from mildly comedic to downright classless, boring and stupid.

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Episode 32


ANDY'S PICK: DR. HEINY & JIM ROSS
WWF in the year 1999 was in a state of flux. Just coming out of the red-hot 1998 where they re-took the lead in the ratings war, they suddenly found themselves in the midst of a changing climate. A new star was needed for the future. In a startling move, causing some to think if Vince just pulled a name out of a hat, that future star was former Smoking Gunn and current New Age Outlaw himself, Billy Gunn. Having won King of the Ring, Gunn adopted his new persona: "Mr. Ass", playing the part of a cocky, self-interested heel. This, of course, would not be taken lightly by a man who once played that part: The Rock. The two engaged in a feud in the summer of 1999, showing just how far the WWF had fallen. To spice things up creatively, they added a new stipulation—a "Kiss My Ass" match. As the Attitude Era always did, it amped things up by calling for the loser to kiss the winner's hind end after their Summerslam encounter. When a hefty woman in torn pantyhose arrived on the scene, things simply went from bad to humiliating—and not for the loser of this particular match.


ERIK'S PICK: ROBOCOP IN WCW
The scene was Survivor Series, 1990. In what should be known as perhaps the greatest debut in the history of the company with The Undertaker arriving on the scene, is instead avoided at all costs due to a more...inauspicious debut. With WWE Hall-of-Famer and Heenan's Hall inductee, "Mean" Gene Okerlund, present, and the whole world watching, a new character arrived on the scene after months of speculation; hatching from an egg, of all things. What Vince McMahon did by forcing Roddy Piper, Gorilla Monsoon and Okerlund to put over the arrival of a large, dancing chicken was damaging enough, but the fact that the large beast took up over 10 minutes of paid-for TV time by dancing in the ring to "Turkey in the Straw" is the most sad and disturbing of all. The "Gobbledy Gooker" has since returned to poke fun at a simpler time in the company, but the fact that it is used as a parody, and that WrestleCrap itself gives terrible wrestling moments the "Gooker" Award should tell you everything you need to know about this depressing moment in wrestling history.



BLAKE'S PICK: SANTINO'S BAD DATE
History is filled with sad stories of men and women who, through no fault of their own, lost their means of income due to injury while on the job, or otherwise. Most of these people have found other means, and used that inner strength and courage that drove them in their earlier lives to make ends meet. Then there are those who don't see the light at the end of the tunnel, and tragically decide to take themselves out of their situation. And finally, there's referee Tim White, who couldn't do either. Whether it was through shotgun blast, rat poison, industrial fan or even hiring someone else to take him out, Tim White couldn't ease the emotional pain of losing his job after physical pain drove him out. While a person's futility can always be played off for laughs, the fact that the WWE stretched these attempts over 15 short episodes and included Josh Matthews' inability to simply pull a plastic bag off White's head drove it from mildly comedic to downright classless, boring and stupid.

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Episode 38


ANDY'S PICK: HOT LESBIAN ACTION
There are a few people out there who like to watch attractive women make out in their bras and panties. It's just a thing some people like to see from time to time. But how many of those people would be comfortable watching that with their niece/nephew/children/grandma in the living room with them? The year 2002 was a confusing one for the wrestling industry. WCW and ECW had recently gone out of business, leaving Vince's show the only one in town. Still, the ratings were taking a hit and in turn he became increasingly desperate. One night, Eric Bischoff had a surprise for us with “The Lesbians” (yes, that’s what they were actually called). While the two were getting hot and heavy, two large Samoan men beat the women down for no reason. No match came out of it. No angle. Just sheer misogynistic brutality. Does anyone still miss an edgier WWE product? Grandma sure doesn't.


ERIK'S PICK: CHAMBER OF HORRORS
Happy Halloween everyone! Or more like Crappy Halloween if you ordered Halloween Havoc 1991. In a match filled with future Hall of Famers (Abdullah The Butcher, Mick Foley, Sting, Scott Hall and Vader), you would expect great things. A real treat you might say. Instead you were tricked into a match that was not just awful, but supernaturally and terrifyingly awful. It was like expecting candy while trick-or-treating and getting a car battery hooked up to your balls and getting electrocuted instead. And speaking of electrocution, Abdullah himself was strapped to an electric chair and was killed in the middle of the ring. Somehow he is still alive to this day. But he’s dead. And so was this match concept, as even as inept as WCW was, the Chamber of Horrors match never returned. Some say on a cold October night you can still hear Abdullah's screams of agony. Or maybe that's just the ghost of the paying audience.



BLAKE'S PICK: BE A BULLY, FELLA!
Don't be a bully okay? Got it? If you're a bully, just stop it and like be a star instead or something. Sheamus will tell you that, and he's an upstanding citizen. Sure, he likes a pint now and then and also likes to get into a brawl, but he's not a bully. So back off! The man goes to rallies in his free time to tell us not not to be mean to each other. Just don't look to him for inspiration. Sheamus' victims are many when it comes to not just being a bully, but being a complete asshole. Wade Barrett has a movie coming out that he's proud of? Mock him relentlessly on air, rent a tux and talk shit about him completely unprovoked. Alberto Del Rio has a nice, expensive car? Steal it and shit all over it (hey, he's the one who claimed he ate Mexican food while on his joyride, and that it doesn't agree with him and that's where the smell came from. We can only assume he shit his pants). And Daniel Bryan at WrestleMania? Don’t even get us started.

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Episode 42


ANDY'S PICK: THE ULTIMATE MIRROR
Have you ever been alone and had the feeling that someone was watching you? Have you ever had the hair on your neck suddenly raise for no tangible reason? Have you ever seen the fucking Ultimate Warrior in your bathroom mirror?!? Well Hulk Hogan has. And millions watched as Hogan saw Warrior stuck inside that mirror too, only Eric Bischoff (who was standing right next to the Hulkster) couldn't see it for some reason. Good thing he didn't go back and re-watch Nitro. There are a lot of ways to book a rematch to one of the biggest bouts in wrestling history, but taking it into the supernatural realm was pretty much the worst choice possible. Who ya gonna call? Not WCW creative!


ERIK'S PICK: PAPA'S CURSE
There are a lot of creepy, unexplainable events that have happened throughout history. Ghosts, ghouls, and goblins continue to haunt humanity with no clear answers in sight. But one mystery continues to puzzle and confuse us more than perhaps any other. Scientists, skeptics and paranormal researchers have all combed through troves of data and footage, and yet can not figure out this eternal mystery: What in the hell was that small amount of purple substance supposed to be that was slowly dripping out of Mean Gene Okerlund's jacket when Papa Shango put a curse on him? Yeah, Shango made Warrior bleed green blood which is stupid, but perhaps quite terrifying, but purple goo? I mean that was likely a bit of an inconvenience for Gene as he probably had to find a towel, but beyond that I'm guessing he was okay.



BLAKE'S PICK: THE BOOGEYMAN
Legend has it that one dark night, Vince McMahon sat down and did something unexplainable. For some reason, he watched the shitty horror film Boogeyman starring that douchebag from 7th Heaven (not the child molester, but his storyline son). Anyway, McMahon apparently liked it, because he likes terrible things and wanted to create a character off of it. You have to wonder if he was actually watching the film, as the WWE's Boogeyman in no way resembled the monster from the movie. The wrestler Boogeyman had red makeup like Darth Maul, ate worms and repeatedly smashed a clock over his own head. Does that make you want to sleep with the lights on? Or does it make you want to puke in a sink?

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Episode 47


ANDY'S PICK: THE KIEBLER CUTTER
There’s nothing better than watching professional wrestling and having a nice cold adult beverage. It's what helped transcend Steve Austin from Ringmaster to the hottest star in the industry. Who could forget his beer truck attack on Vince McMahon and The Rock, and the countless times that Raw ended with a giant beer bash? Well Stacy Keibler was invited to a bash that she'll never forget. A bash to her jaw you could say!

It all started heroically. Steve Austin saved Stacy's life when Scott Steiner was going to murder her with a steel chair. Austin ran off Rick Steiner's brother and fans rejoiced. To celebrate, Austin offered the damsel in distress a cold one. It wasn't to her liking and she politely told Steve it didn't agree with her taste buds. For some reason this upset him and he beat her. He delivered a Stunner to a former cheerleader, a move that has knocked out countless grown male fighters over the years. That's not just Stone Cold, that's a shitty thing to do.


ERIK'S PICK: HAWK-OHOLISM
Suicide is a very serious and touchy subject. Many films and novels have dealt with the subject in ways that try to make you better understand the immense struggle that those with depression are going through. WWF did not do this. In fact, they made quite the laughing stock out of a man trying to end it all after his failure to overcome his serious alcohol addiction.

The Legion of Doom wasn't quite the same in the late 90s. Part of it was due to age, but part of it was that behind the scenes Michael Hegstrand was losing his battle to stay sober. You can only imagine the pain he was going. Instead of getting him actual help, the WWF exploited him on TV by making him a bumbling drunk. The piece de reistance was Hawk climbing the TitanTron planning on ending it all when Puke tried to stop him. Or did he? Hawk appeared to be pushed by Vomit, I'm sorry, Puke, who claimed he was only trying to help. Until we found out later he was actually trying to kill him and take his place in L.O.D. Yep.

Oh yeah, and a real wrestler died in real life after falling in front of a live crowd not long after. Ohhhhhhh what a terrible idea!!!



BLAKE'S PICK: RAPPIN' ON RITTER
Come on knock on our door,
John Cena's waiting for you
He likes to make fun of dead celebrities
Because he thinks it's cool!

Who didn't love John Ritter? He was a star of multiple, popular sitcoms and had a supporting role in Sling Blade! The man had range! Well John Cena seemed to take great joy in Ritter's death as he already cooked up a rap dissing him on SmackDown just a few days later. Couldn't he have waited until we had time to grieve and watch a few episodes of Three's Company? Even Mr. Roeper wasn't that cruel. Hustle, loyalty, and respect? No. None were shown that night. It was worse than the Three Company's spin-off Three's a Crowd. And that's saying something!

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