Thursday, January 9, 2014

Presenting: The Shammies! (Andy's Edition)

In lieu of a regular episode this week, your favorite Friends have decided to treat you with a version of their very-own year-end awards, the SHAMMIES! Wrestling With Friends recently got together to create some awards that truly represented the product (mainly WWE), rather than the sham that is the WWE's Slammy Awards; though they still opted to shine a light on some of the more positive events later on. But that wasn't enough fun.

We're up to round two, with Andy's hot picks. Be prepared to hear the Friends duke it out on the show as to who is the truly deserving winner (or loser) of the Shammy Awards!

Most Screwed Over Wrestler (DDP in WCW Award)

Loser: Wade Barrett

This is a close call. Heck, you could make a compelling case for at least half a dozen other wrestlers (Ted DiBiase, Kaitlyn, Dolph Ziggler, Daniel Bryan and Ryback come to mind). I see slightly more potential in Wade Barrett, who already has main event experience dating back to his days in The Nexus (which feels like a lifetime ago). After Daniel Bryan was abruptly fired, he single-handedly saved the group of green rookies from collapsing. His reward? Jobbing ever since, and being stuck with a Bad News Gimmick that is destined to fail. It’s not interesting, it’s not funny and it’s embarrassing television. A good looking, charismatic, legitimately tough dude just can’t catch a break.

Dammit, We're Going to Make This Work!!! (Vince McMahon Award)

Loser: Sin Cara

The former Mistico is no longer under the mask these days. He’s been Doink’d, with someone else now taking the role. It’s stupid and unnecessary. If you want to sell masks to kids, just put one back on Sami Zayn and promote him to the main roster. Also, stop saying Sin Cara had his own comic book. Yes, Mistico did. Hunico did not. Just let the Sin Cara character die a peaceful death (or a painful one, doesn’t really matter) already.

Get the F off My TV!!! (Buff Bagwell Award)

Loser: Stephanie McMahon

Again, quite a few wrestlers were strongly considered for this award (Curtis Axel, Cameron, HHH and Big Show for starters), but none are so obliviously awful in so many ways as Stephanie McMahon. Heck, I liked her in around 1999, but there’s no reason she should still be on TV every week. She can’t act as a babyface (which she tried this year), she doesn’t wrestle and she constantly steals the spotlight from people who actually work hard for a living and go to every house show and sacrifice their bodies for the sport. She doesn’t understand wrestling and she never will. Be afraid of a Stephanie McMahon/HHH run WWE. Be very afraid.

Worst Moment of the Year

Loser: Great Khali and Jinder Mahal Play the Flute for Santino’s Cobra

I was absolutely torn whether to go for a decision that was awful for business (having HHH Pedigree Bryan at SummerSlam) or an example of general foolishness that WWE does for no reason. I chose the latter. Having Great Khali and Jinder Mahal trying to snake charm Santino’s Cobra (the sock on his hand) was one of those stupid (and quasi racist) moments that make you ashamed to be a fan. It’s not cool, and could rightfully scare any potential wrestling fan away forever. Try and have that segment on your TV when a family member, a friend or girlfriend walks in the room. They’d be right to question your sanity. Wrestling can be silly, but it’s doesn’t need to be fucking idiotic. And why the fuck did The Great Khali just happen to have a flute down his pants?!?!?!?

...and now, the Good...

Favorite Angle

Winner: Goldust and Cody get their jobs back

I’m with Erik on this one. Goldust and Cody played their parts perfectly during this angle. Goldust was the sad, unemployed veteran who would do anything for his brother, and Cody was the wronged babyface who was unjustly fired. Add in their father Dusty, and it was easy to root for the three getting one up on The Authority. It’s too bad that WWE no longer lets Cody or Goldust talk, as they proved they’re up for the challenge when given the opportunity. The two getting their jobs back was one of the few feel good moments all year in WWE.

Favorite Match

Winner: Undertaker vs. CM Punk at WrestleMania

As much as I hated the build to this match (Punk rubbing Paul Bearer’s ashes on his body), the showdown itself was fantastic. Watching Undertaker these days is a rare sight, and despite his age and history of injuries, he can still deliver. When WWE goes all out, and does the “big match feel”, there’s nothing else like it. Undertaker’s slow entrance to the ring with the dead clutching at him, and Punk being lead into battle by “Cult of Personality” were events in themselves. Of course, we all knew Taker was going over, but Punk did his damnedest to plant some doubt. This should have easily been the main event of the show.

Favorite Moment

Winner: The crowd Fandango’s for the first time

Much like Erik, my pick happened the night after WrestleMania. It wasn’t a match, though, it was the crowd who made me pop like no one’s business. They put on a better show than the one I paid $60 for the night before. They audibly shit all over Sheamus vs. Orton, made Ziggler a star (until WWE screwed it up) and hummed the tune to Fandango’s theme song throughout the night. It was like nothing I’d ever seen. It was hilarious, and a perfect way to tell the WWE to “F” off. Of course, WWE didn’t understand that fans were doing this ironically, and soon embraced the chant as their own, where it two stepped itself to a quick death.

Wrestler of the Year

Winner: The Shield

Yes, I realize it’s wrestler of the year and I’m choosing three men. But just try to imagine WWE programming this year without The Shield. How many different main event matches on Raw and SmackDown would WWE have had to come up with? Much like a great starting pitcher in baseball, these guys ate up innings (or TV time if you will). From an on-air standpoint, they held the WWE together in 2013. They are also one of the few genuine “cool” acts in all of wrestling, which is vital to draw in young fans. It will most likely be their last year as a unit, so enjoy them while you can. 

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